Friday, November 02, 2007
In my own imagination 8:44 PM.
To My Dear Mrs Graetz:
Mrs Graetz has been teaching me Biology for the past 2 years. From the first lesson, i could tell that she's somebody who has deep knowledge and think, do things in depth.
Over the past two years, she never fail to impress me with her wide scope of knowledge ranging from Biology, human anatomy to factors relavant to life. A respectable point about her is that she doesn't keep any knowledge for herself, and share what she knows to her students in order to really teach and make sure everyone learns.
However, it is very unfair to her that most of the Bio students in my class discriminates her just because of minor issues, and some misunderstandings. This shows how shallow some of them are, to actually capitulate to their ego, and see things only from their point of view. They've failed to take a step back and be judgemental without prejudices. However, the irony of the whole situation lies with the magnamity of Mrs Graetz being forgiving by not being biased to the students. This can be seen whenever she gives us her "self-grown" bananas; which were distributed among us fairly, without any tinge of unfairness.
Today, i sat for the GCE O lvl Science Biology paper. A catastrophe struck me real hard. Over the past 2 years, i've been doing questions which ask you in-depth knowledge and applications. But what came out was questions which are simply primitive and only test on basics. Whereby i made alot of careless mistakes.
I went to look for Mrs Graetz after my exams. She had smiles all over her face when most of the 5Ns found it easy. I told her how i honestly felt about it. But she wasn't at all disappointed. Words of encouragement poured out to console me. I feel really very touched by what she has done, her teachings, her compassion.
She's linked me and made me appreciate the wonders of nature.
She's the FIRST school teacher to make me feel this way, and i really want to say that she IS a successful teacher who has made an impact in my life.
Join ME in my imagination. |
Sunday, October 28, 2007
In my own imagination 10:51 AM.
I can.
I can do it. Yea, studying hard, though slacking
Ironic because it is
Slack in the morning and give it all out in the day till night
Walks all the way home from Novena as i haven't been exercising.
Yea, WO KE YI
I can i can i can
ENglish paper is tmr, Followed by maths paper 1. Maths paper 2 on tues and sciences on thurs and fri. Following mon and tues shall be poa, Literature and SS.
I fear i may not do well for SS. My lit is generally quite alrighht alr. Well, glad that i'm prepared for maths. It's all about practice and practice.
I went to consult my bio teacher ytd and she told me alot of new aspects which cambridge expects of my batch now. Since it's the last batch which is gg to take O lvl under cambridge, they seem to have higher expectations and hide the way they gg to mark it thus pulling most ppl's marks down. My bio teacher was good enough to tell me, well, partyl because i botehr to go look for her for consultation. It's a fact that she doesn't teach everything in class, and i learn most of th facts about bio from her after curriculum hours.
It's not easy to work all the way up to this stage from a person who fails in studies. The arduousity requires alot of peseverance, focus and concentration. But everything revolves around our aims, our ambitions.
SOme of my friends have got no motivation to work at all because they do not know where they wanna go. Not their fault but, well, it's time to get serious and start thinking about your future. Although you may not make use of the things you learn in tertiary life, but at least it is better to graduate with a diploma as a "safety net" just in case you can't get to study what you want. Speculating, if you don't even have a proper diploma or rather, i gd O lvl cert you'll be worse than graduates who are unemployed.
Planning is important.
Compared to being somebody with no qualification/s , you totally lose out in this society.
Well, it's just so practical and straightforward. We can't relent this fact unless our parents have loads of money and is willing to splurge the money for us to do what we want, then no problem. Too bad, we live in a competitive country like Singapore.
ok, gg to study...bb
Join ME in my imagination. |
Thursday, October 11, 2007
In my own imagination 10:29 AM.
Standing among 1000 students in the hall, i began contemplating each one's ambitions and dreams. Every single soul in this gigantic room hold yearns of being somebody influencial in society, and aims to achieve remarkable goals in life. These goals and ambitions range from being a doctor who cure the most detrimental illnesses, to being an entreprenuer who strives up high and bring the country's economy to greater heights. Thus, this creates competitiveness among everyone, and emulation is common.
However, there are differences between ambition and dreams. An ambition is achievable through pragmatic sacrifices like hard work and dedication. Most of the time, pains will come in as part of our steps to attain what we want, and fulfill our ambition. Thus, when factors fall out of the perimeters of hard work and dedication is needed to attain a certain goal, that goal becomes a dream.
Dreams are unrealistic and idealistic. Many people barricade themselves too deeply in dreams that they cannot accept what is going on in society. A person dreams also because he or she so badly wants to become like somebody else, and thus contemplate illogically on how to transform himself into their idol. This is commonly seen among teens who go crazy over idolising their favourite boy bands. They admire the performers on stage and feel the urge to do the same. Thus, there're some teenagers who dreams of being a popular celebrity and thus, give up on their studies and pursue their dreams by joining Singing competitions, hoping that they'll be discovered by a media company and brought to fame without much hard work. Thus, having a dream to come true is much based on none other than mere luck.
Other reasons why people succumb to dreams is because of laziness. Taking the dream of stardom as an example, unmindful teenagers simply feel that it is arduous to achieve good grades in school and think that being a star is simple because the amount of revenue earned comes by half the conviction but twice the finesse. They have the impression that stars will just have to articulate a couple of songs and thus, able to earn the money from tickets and royalties of their song albums.
Relating this to our lives, we are aware of what we want in life and what to strive for. But, have we catogorised them and see if they are idealistic dreams or realistic ambition. If our goals are achievable through pragmatic hard work and dedication, then most probably we will do our best to achieve it. But, if anyone realises that he holds onto a dream, he has got to be very sure that lady luck is always helping him if not, it is time to wake up, stop dreaming and get started on practical goals.
Join ME in my imagination. |
In my own imagination 12:11 AM.
Well well
Time really flies.
Louis and i were discussing about the fun times we had in Sec 1. That's the only honey-moon year we had. After that, complications, arguements, disagreements arises. A cliche i know. Though i procrastinate about school very often, i still can't bear to leave bcos of some reasons. WEll, friends who've helped me and made an impact in my life. Nice people whom i knwo and lived with for the past 4 years. Why cogitate so much? All things must come to an end, won't they? I must learn how to accept things and stop living in the past.
Especially love, whereby i have to be more realistic and not hold onto the idealistic want of having him as my BF. Of course, i wouldn't wanna repeat my 4 years here. I've gone through hard times, good times. More hard times i must say, but although i hate the hard times, upon deeper thinking, i actually grew to know about the bad side of human beings through these experiences.
Yes, i am somebody who explore and think more than normal people does. That's the reason why i get Emo easily because i think too much; negatively.. Recently i've learnt to be more realistic in love. Or rather, i've lost confidence in myself towards love. On Saturday night, i came home with a heavy heart. Thinking of him. And wanting to just simply fking dump him off my life. I cried the whole night about this and well, i dunno if i've gotten over it. Yes, i'm getting carried away., Bcos i can't focus on typing and am crying now. But for one thing i know, i've already set my mind to hate him. He's a bitch. A hypocrite. An imbecile. Vindictive bastard.
I don't even wanna talk to him anymore. He wants me to fuck off, fine, i fuck off his life ( mentally) But i will not stop sanshou at bishan. We'll just train and that's it. No further than that.
Alright, bed time...
Join ME in my imagination. |
Sunday, October 07, 2007
In my own imagination 12:23 PM.
Here's the verdict:
Prelims Result O lvl target
English - B3 English - A1
Chinese - B3 Chinese - B3
Combined Science - B3 Combined science - A2
Combined Humans - D7 Combined Humans - B3
FNN - B4 FNN - B4
Maths - C5 Maths - B3
POA - AB POA - AB
L1R4 = 16 (after deduction of CCA points)
As you can see, i'm still a little distant away from my target. Another 5 grades in total to be able to reach my target and get into my ideal course. I'm seriously working my head off these days, trying very hard to emulate my past debilities and failures. I felt a little discouraged until my friend Anson, said to me " KR, Stop Living In The Past" Yea, how true.
We really should stop living in the past, and carry on being consistant, improve ourselves and achieve the indominatable sense of satisfaction.
I always bitch about my sucky sch. So many teachers simply do not have passion to help. I can't depend on them, so i depend on myself. Many of them think that i can't make it in life just because of my ego and stubborn character. Yes, i am stubborn. I am egoistic. But at least i confront my life, i confront everyone with the upmost truth and i hide nothing. It is not an ideal. I feel comfortable being transparent and opened. I have nth to hide and i fear not of what others have to say. God is always by my side, and will punish those who harms me. Incorrigible people shall burn in the depth of burning sulphur in hell, and suffer excruciatingly from the great pain.
ABOUT HIM:
Saw him yesterday. He is so egoistic. Why get so serious even during training? Have you got no care and compassion? Yes, i understand you are ambitious and do not want to lose out. But, how about thinking about being more considerate rather than capitulating to your ego?
These days, you make me dislike you. I hate to admit this but it is very true. Many times you bitch so badly about me behind my back to others but, when i see you, there's always guilt behind the way you greet me when we meet up. So what if i viewed your friendster? Yes i did. I decided not to add u because i seldom use it. You have simply no consideration and absolutely self-centered. Selfish people like you will end up with no friends but enemies. I hate to admt this but i really can't afford to like you anymore
Like what i said, i do not wanna hide in denial and surppress my spontaeneity. I don't see the need to go that extra mile of lying to others and lying to myself about how i feel about you.
I can't let love blind me from seeing your true colours of an unscrupulous and scheming fellow. How hard is it to let go of someone you really love. How hard is it to really face the fact to hate him bcos of his detrimentality. I do not want love to land me in jeopardy. I discussed this with a close friend of mine last night and yes, the conclusion is the best decision is to let you go, and hence, i no longer hold yearns of any towards you. Goodbye my love, goodbye my igauna, goodbye the trecherous, goodbye the detrimentals.
Join ME in my imagination. |
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
In my own imagination 10:16 PM.
Field mouse. In the impression of people, field mice are catogorised as pest because of what they do. No doubt they hurt farmer's crops, inflict diseases etc. Personally, i do not like field mice. Or rather, i used to hate them and kill them if i see them in my midst of planting crops back in my mother's hometown. Being a little comprehensive, field mice are actually very proned and vulnerable to danger because of their spontaeneity to hunt for food as a herbivour.
In contrast to our lives, we see many notorious and obnoxious people around us. Very often, we tend to feel offended when they irritate us. Well, the reason why we feel irritated is because perhaps, a clash of personalities. However, have we got the maturity and patience to take a step back and look and say, HEY, why is that person behaving this way? Is it really for the sake of being notorious and obnoxious or is it for the sole and simple reason that it's just a clash of personalities? Just like field mice; although they are destructors and irritants in our point of view, that's only a superficial point. Upon deeper inference, the reason why field mice hurt our crops is for the sake of survival, right? So in other words, they are superficailly irritants but deep inside, it's for the sake of survival and i pity their innocence more than hating them now.
In a more serious note, i would like to highlight that there are exceptional cases of people whereby they sought solace in adverse schemes just to get their goals . Well, i can't much agree that they are innocent because they only want to acquire their goals. Contemplating, the only survival way of field mice is for them to feed on crops. If there are other way out, why would field mice jeopardise its life? Back to human beings, in certain cases, people carry out unscrupulously, which means there're alternatives but some people are just too lazy to attain their goals from the arduous but genuine way. Since one do not have the determination to work hard, isn't it a calling for that person to digress and drop out this goal?
Join ME in my imagination. |
Sunday, September 30, 2007
In my own imagination 12:53 PM.
Borned in a world of competitions, fightings, politics, we are inevitably catogorised into 2 sections as a human being; a robot or an alien.
Personifying the two sections, they are true forms of human beings that exist on mother earth.
A robot is somebody who adheres closely to rules and regulations and barricade themselves off imaginations and "thinking outta box". These people fears to be in a state of trepidation and experimentation but, are good followers.
Whearas an alien, is an abstract worker who needs rules and regulations to be bended in order to work efficiently and productively. These people usually think out of the box, conspicuous in groups because of their alberation.
I am an Alien, which means i'm a rule breaker. I'll feel constrained and petrified when i have to follow rules closely.
Ask yourself, are you a Robot or an Alien?
Gambling:
The world changes rapidly in order to accomodate itself to the society and trend. Positively or negatively, changes in places are often in great significance and of high frequency. Contemplating, positive changes includes new housing policies, improved educational sponsorship etc. Whearas negative changes includes a wide range of spectrum like rise in GST(government service tax) , deduction of pay due to economy downturn, increase of security systems to reduce pecarious events from occuring etc. Out of all these, it is rather obvious that negative changes always take citizens in a country a long time to be able to swallow it down their guts, and as a result, it always arise controversies, debates and arguements between the government and the citizens.
Comprehensively, we are actually debating on changes which take place all the time. This is something which not everyone adores but the fact is, changes around us GAMBLE with our future and present.
In the literal terms, gambling means betting your money on something in return of a higher revenue a few times higher than your betting principal. With regards of gambling our future, we are doing something like legalising gambling dens. The money spent on grooming the gambling industry is no doubt a bombastic and commendable fund. Needless to say, the people with the effort behind the building of this industry works with half the finesse but twice the conviction. The fact is that, we are gambling the precious money used to invest in something which may most likely be catastrophic in the long run and thus, the price to pay in order to remunerate the consequence is of a significant sum.
Despite the understanding fact that Singapore strives high always and doesn't block itself by setting an optimum, some actions are inexorably prone to undesirables. For one thing, the government is good in a way that they do not push responsibilities but always make sure that they take very good care of the citizens.
Not wanting to digress, we have to be contemplative about actions that we do and what we gamble in life. Cogitation is extremely important because our decisions not only lies in ourselves but involves others as well. Is gambling certain things worthwhile? Was our initial plan directed to set up this strategy to improve economic growth in the long run? If so, how to alleviate further and future loses then? Another common controversy to talk about.
Well well, i shouldn't exagerrate my satirisation too extravagantly to deter being sued for slander.
Join ME in my imagination. |
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
In my own imagination 12:48 PM.
Gayism. As this word resounds in your head, most of you may recall how some of your friends being thrown with insults such as "U stupid gay!" .
As we all know, Singapore has yet to legalise gayism. Thus, this has aroused many unhappiness among the gay circle, and even people who are heterosexual has been discussing this controversial issue. I shouldn't find it sad that the government is criminalising gayism, but instead i find it unpragmatic and contradictory.
As a male homosexual, i've accepted myself over the past few years. It is not easy to accept the realisation that you have actually got no sexual affection towards the opposite sex party. Personally, i seeked solace in denial but was slapped back by multiple rejections and once, i thought i've alleviated my homosexual self, but how wrong was I? After being ditched by that girl, i formed a bad impression of females, and worse, had my interest for female being totally ripped off like how i was ditched. THen, i began to accept that guys are the people whom i natually seek and admire, and guys are my innate ideal.
Honestly, if you'd ask me if i prefered to be an ASEXUAL(somebody who has got no sexual affection towards any sex), i would say no. I need love and protection. For friends who know me closer, i'm a team player only if i think the leader is better than me. If not, i'd always aim to be a leader myself. But at times i would want love and warmth. This is something which i've lacked of and i am sure, many people out there share the similar sentiments here too.
But bear one thing in mind readers, DO NOT disclose your sexual oreintation to any of your family members especially your parents. I know of a gay couple personally, and the bottom faced a major catastrophe when his parents found out about his sexual oreintation when they came across their blog. His parents basically splurged a bomb to "save" him out of gayism by simply sweeping all books on homosexuality in bookstores indiscriminately, sent him for counselling, forbidded his freedom and kept him from contacting other guys. Isn't it ridiculous to mash an adolescent up so badly? At this age, freedom and pride plays an important role in our teenage life doesn' it?
Next, regarding what the government has done, i felt its controversy in between.
Let's look from a more general point of view; discrimination.
IN some countries racial discrimination still exist because individual races just keep to themselves which leads to a congregation and segregation. They then adheres to different believes and make friends with people of their own race. However, Singapore successfully prevented this from happening by encouraging racial harmony. Therefore, we don't really see any form of discrimination in schools, or at work. Despite the other's skin colour , Singapore has always been seen as a multi-racial society because of racial and religious acceptance.
However, using the same concept we'll see how flaws has been caused by discrimination of gayism in Singapore. I've gone through the stage whereby people hurl abuse at me in school and BOO at me after their subsequent knowledge of my sexual oreintation. Isn't this bullying? Yes, i was being bullied multiple times but i did not blame them because i know it's a matter of mindset. Those who've accepted me, i must say that it is good to have a mind of your own and not being manipulated by society easily. For those who have not accepted this, i don't blame them because it's a matter of manipulation since young , adhering to the fact that gayism is debaucherous and trecherous. This is the main irony and controversy which i see with what the government has done. They want to bring down bullying in schs and yet, they are going to continue criminalising gayism which will cause more bullying...
Join ME in my imagination. |
