Sunday, September 10, 2006
In my own imagination 3:18 PM.
Just came back from a birthday lunch at my aunt's place. There wasn't alot of people but it was rather warming. Although i didn't feel that welcomed. Well, i was very quiet throughout. I saw one of my relative. She's my uncle's wife. I don't really like her. She's a look freak. She only talk to shuai-ges and gorgious ladies. And she criticise alot on people's apperance. Which i am totally in disfavour of. I really hate it. Why are some people like that. Judging a book by its' cover. It really pisses me off. And for goodness sake, she has already aged so much. The way she brings up herself, is just like those tai-tais who go round gossiping about other people's life and things. Again, this is something which i really really dislike. And the way she put her make up, is simply disgusting. If she has a good persona, i won't mind her appearance. But both her inner and outer persona really turned me off just now. So i refused to talk to her.
Just now on the car, while coming home, my grandma was talking about my incorrigible useless cousin. He used to live with me. Until i was so pissed that my Godmother and dad told him to leave. He did alot of things which let people down, causing misfotune and trouble. After my godma joined in the conversation, we talked about his career. My godma is the one really taking care of my wellfare. Not my parents. Those who've been following up with my blog should know. My dad is another bastard, my mum is a bochap.
Then my godma, who's also my auntie, spent 12K on my cousin's diploma for hair-styling. The reason why the price is so high is because my cousin doesn't have a proper basic education, and polytechnics and schools refuse to take him in. Well, serve him right though. It was of his own doings that he ended up in such a state. What really angered me was that, after studying for that course, he's not making that as his career. I know that many singaporeans holds job which is very different from what they study. Yes. But, at least it's their own parents who pay for them. And that time, he asked my Godma to pay for him that 12K because he was interested in hair-styling. And now, he became a real-estate agent, who's not earning anything much. And still, giving problems to his mum(his mum is not my godma). This pisses me off because he didn't make good use of that 12K. If he have a stable job in that career line, it's alright. But that amount of money, 12K , can be used for MY future education instead u know. Because my Godma is going to sponsor me for it. SHe's treating me like her own son. She then told me that she actually opened an account for me when i was 9 years old, when she started taking care of me. And there's now about 20K in there. If ever it's any of my parent who's holding onto that amount of money, it would be gone long ago already. My dad would squander it away, my mum would start doing business out of her own naive thoughts and stupidity. Only my godma has got the discipline not to touch that amount of money. And my mum kept on nagging me to go to the Uni. I will. And i know i must. But, she don't even set aside a single cent for it. Next time i'm not going to care about my parents alright. They don't even care abit for my education and my wellfare. My mum , only abit. I'm not asking them to spend loads of thousands to support my further education. But if they jus make an effort to, i will be grateful. But the fact is that they even spare a thought. Ironies ironies ironies....I've always been keeping all these thoughts in my heart, i don't want and i hope that i don't have to mention it to my mum. I know it's going to hurt her deeply. She always thought that i really loved her alot, but i find that these days, our relationship dropped tremendously. I don't see her often. But she's mother, i don't want to hurt her. No matter what, she's still somebody who at least don't give people trouble. But i must be grateful that i have such a caring and good aunt.
Anyway, just hoped that my stupid cousin didn't existed at all. He really cause alot of problems. 2 people whom i hope will get out of my life. My this cousin fo mine and my father. 2 of them, are the blacksheeps.
My mum is remarried. Her current husband has got a stable income and is takign good care of her. I need not worry about her. I only care and give concern to my godma. Who really cared and loved me. Others, i don't care much. Because i believed that you get what you earn. For me, it's easy. Just show me that you are really sincere about it. But acting to be doesn't get off my eyes alright. I don't give in to acting and nonsence, I'm a thinker. And i'm very alert and observant. So don't lie to me or do nonsensical stuffs in my presence which is going to hurt me. I will know it. And don't test me...
Join ME in my imagination. |
