Sunday, August 20, 2006
In my own imagination 12:22 PM.
Firstly, before i start whinning and stuffs, i would like to thank my friend MelRichard for praying for me to have enlightenment and peace. But it's really too bad. I can't get over all these shit so easily. But Mel, really thank you. It's always like that. The current problems may have been resolved, but new and more stressful problems just keep flooding my life. I really don't know why.
Now, the start of my whinnings.
Early this morning, at 1.30am, my dad came home. As usual drunk. I realy hate to see him get drunk every night. It really pisses me off. The moment he comes home, he would say tell me ''eh, go cook one packet of noodles for me'' I didnt bother him. I don't care and i won't care. There's rice and left overs, he doesnt want to eat them. Everyday, he expects special treatments. The maid have to cook specially for him. If not he will start giving fucking sacastic remarks which makes everybody's blood pressure rise. Especially for my grand mother's. Well, she's having very bad demensure now and she's plaqued with illnesses and depression.Furthermore, her days are numbered. All these are the cause of my father. My grandma had multiple strokes, oriented by my father also. He doesn't want to work. He had a very good job 10 over years ago. Then he did something bad. And was jailed. After that when he was released, he spent the 3yrs doing nothing but gambling and continued with his crimes. Only at the 4th yr he got a gd job. He got a very compassionate boss, and just at the 2nd year, he got promoted. That very night he got promoted, he got arrested again. And he was jailed for 2 years. Well, life was peaceful then. After he was being released, we thought he would change for the better, well, he did at first. But After 2 years, he went back drinking again. For 3 years. And then last year, was year of unluckiness. He got banged down by a car 1 night. I was in camp that day and all our mobile phones were being confiscated. So my family couldn't contact me. Until 3 days later. I thought he was dead. But he only broke his leg. And it was because that night, he got very drunk, he jay walked and got knocked down by a car. So who's fault is it? You people tell me. But according to the law, if a driver knocks someone down, the driver himself is at most fault.
It took him 6mths to heal. After that, Mid of this year, he got a job as a cleaning supervisor. He only worked for afew weeks. Then, he gave up that job. He said he can't withstand that job. It's too tough and the pay is horrible. Excuse me, what kind of pay can you expect from your records and your capabilities?
Since then, he's jobless. And stays home everyday, smokes, eat drink liqour, sleep. The same sequence repeat again and again. Well, he never took care of me. He never did care about my wellfare. I will never care for his wellfare in future either. If he don't appreciate it, don't he dare desire to be spoiled and pampered.
It's very common to see him come home drunk, and cursing and swearing my mother. Curse and swear for fuck? Divorced so long ago already. 15years ago you know. i was still young that time. And, i take care of myself. I have someone to support me financially, but i just do everything myself. I don't really need emotional and family support. I am very independant. And, i don't know what's family love because i never had one. And i don't yearn for one.
Join ME in my imagination. |
